Natural Social Skills

I’ve been noticing a process that occurs when men start learning how to meet women. At first, we take on the role of a cool, social guy by learning it from other guys who really understand how to go out, have fun and meet interesting people. This may be an uncomfortable and awkward character to play for people who have never lived this way. The role, however, helps us discover the truly attractive traits that we already possess. Soon, you realize you already have the raw components and many, if not all, of the words or routines fall away when you’ve internalized this new perspective. You don’t become an attractive man, you discover you already were one.

What you are really conveying through words and action is that you are an interesting person who doesn’t have to settle, that you have a full and varied social life and that you are not dependent on anything or anyone to satisfy you. Read the rest of this entry »

One thing I’ve learned about the “community” is that there are a great number of redundant and useless euphemisms and acronyms. Many of these are borrowed from NLP, psychology and a variety of other places. I will confess to not caring much about the origins of these terms because many of them seem very manipulative or overly analytical. Of these, one of the terms I like the least is State.

State is a euphemism for one’s mood or how one feels. I wish I could count the number of times I have heard guys complaining about how they didn’t do well some night because they weren’t “in state” or they need to “change their state.” Somehow, it’s a more legitimate excuse to justify not doing something when the grandiose term state is used rather than simply being honest and saying they weren’t in the mood, or were pissed off, or weren’t feeling confident.

Using state as a reason not to approach or as a reason to justify a bad set only hurts the person using it. Read the rest of this entry »