Natural Social Skills

I recently traveled to Costa Rica with a friend of mine. Despite being a dating and social skills coach for PickUp 101, I learned something that surprised me about meeting people:

All I really needed to do was say hello.

Now this may sound obvious, but how often do we see someone we’d like to talk to and say nothing? How often do we chastise ourselves for days when a simple word would have allowed us to sleep at night because we had the nerve to at least speak to the amazing woman sitting only a few feet away?

Like most of the social skills I’ve learned and taught, the ability already exists within us. I firmly believe that being confident and attractive is not something you learn, but rather cultivate from within. Developing these qualities is an enhancement, an evolution. The teacher simply shows us what is possible and through realization and repetition, that which is attractive and compelling about us emerges. This is why every student is uniquely interesting to different people. They all bring their distinct personality to the table.

But a simple hello? What good is that?

Try saying “Hi, how are you?” to 10 people today. How many conversations do you think you will find yourself involved in? Even if you consider yourself deficient in being social, you will probably end up saying more than one sentence in a few of them. In many cases, you’ll end up talking about your box of chocolates and adventures in life.

My friend and I walked into a tiny Japanese cafe in downtown Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica. By downtown, of course, I mean the main dirt road. As we entered, two very cute blonde girls were about to enjoy lunch. Being the chatty fellows we are, we said hello. In response the closest of the two, who turned out to be Swedes from Gotheberg, asked us if we wanted to try a bite of her lunch. We ended up hanging out with them for the rest of the day and night.

In the spectrum of people you will meet, I’ve found that there are three kinds. One on end are the people who don’t like you right away. You have no control over this. They got an impression of you, right or wrong, before you spoke and that’s it. Or you are not the right height, weight, skin color, whatever. Their mind is made up and no matter what you say, they don’t want to change it.

On the other end are the people who like you right away. You are exactly the kind of guy she is looking for. Or you said something hilarious when you approached. Or you just caught her at a good time. Guess what?

You have no control over that either.

The third group is the most fun: the people who fall in between. These people are one of the big reasons guys seek coaching. They want to increase their chances with the women who fall somewhere in between “like immediately” and “don’t like immediately”. This process is the subject for another article, but the important thing to remember is this:

If you approach people with nothing but “Hello”, some percentage will like you immediately.

I like to run. A friend of mine asked me how she could start running. I told her I had a great method. Ready?

Start running.

I told her to start on the treadmill and run 25 seconds if that’s all she could do. Then run 30 the next time. Then a minute. Or go back to 20 if that’s all you can handle. Just start where you are.

She now runs for 25 minutes 3 times a week.

That’s all you need to do. Just say Hi and you are off and running. Skills like Body Language will help a lot in making a first impression, but you cannot get anywhere if you don’t at least take that first step.

Whether you are an old pro at meeting people, or you are very shy and don’t really know where to start, I suggest you rediscover a skill you’ve had since you were old enough to speak. Sometimes even the most talkative among us don’t know what to say when we want to meet someone.

Without anything else, a simple “Hi” will break down walls and open doors that will surprise you.

---

To have an incredible social life, try these Pickup 101 products: Art of Attraction, Art of Rapport, Physical Confidence, Fearless First Impressions.To have an amazing life, visit Instantaneous Transformation.