Recently I coached PickUp 101’s The Art of Attraction workshop in Los Angeles. I was out with a very outgoing student named Matt on Saturday night on the Sunset Strip. We walked out of a club into the dining area of the hotel and I saw a table of five women drinking beer.
“You’ve got balls tonight, right?” I asked him.
“Why, what do you see?”
I recently traveled to Costa Rica with a friend of mine. Despite being a dating and social skills coach for PickUp 101, I learned something that surprised me about meeting people:
All I really needed to do was say hello.
Now this may sound obvious, but how often do we see someone we’d like to talk to and say nothing? How often do we chastise ourselves for days when a simple word would have allowed us to sleep at night because we had the nerve to at least speak to the amazing woman sitting only a few feet away?
I’ve been noticing a process that occurs when men start learning how to meet women. At first, we take on the role of a cool, social guy by learning it from other guys who really understand how to go out, have fun and meet interesting people. This may be an uncomfortable and awkward character to play for people who have never lived this way. The role, however, helps us discover the truly attractive traits that we already possess. Soon, you realize you already have the raw components and many, if not all, of the words or routines fall away when you’ve internalized this new perspective. You don’t become an attractive man, you discover you already were one.
What you are really conveying through words and action is that you are an interesting person who doesn’t have to settle, that you have a full and varied social life and that you are not dependent on anything or anyone to satisfy you. Read the rest of this entry »
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